Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Birthday Boobs

One of the 1st ever bra's
Would you believe that the bra is 100 years old today, an invention I think is an absolute god send & I for one could not live without (this goes alongside the invention of make up, which is also much needed). Just for the pure genius of the idea you can tell it was thought of by a women; Mary Phelps Jacob was clearly a wonderful woman with an air of class. She didn't want her thrupenny bits swinging round by her knees, she wanted those puppies up & out there saying "Come on lads look at these bad boys" & why not. After all don't they say if you got it flaunt it....
I don't personally see the fascination & think if you've seen one pair of boobs you have seen them all. Yes they may come in different shapes & sizes but at the end of the day a boob is a boob. Like when Kate Middleton was photographed topless on honeymoon with Wills, a magazine published a 16 page spread with 200 photos of her sun bathing - WHY?? once you have seen one photo her boobs don't look any different in the other 199 pictures do they, could have saved some trees & ink there!

Some men love boobs; they generally go for arse or boobs, unless they are greedy then they say both!! I did wonder what exactly the fascination was & after a little digging around & questioning I found the answer. Its not just how they look or even the way they feel its the reaction....When a woman has her nipples tweaked or sucked its the look of delight on her face, the little moan she lets out, its how excited she gets - Well I never knew men put so much thought into it :o)
It puzzles me how some men can undo bra's easily & others can't, hell some can even do it one handed! Do they have lessons or is it like you see on the telly where they are in their room & they put a bra on a teddy to practice? Bit of a passion killer when a man is there fumbling for ages with no joy - I mean if he can't even flick a clasp right how on earth is he gonna know how to flick the bean....??

Peek a boo :o)
A large percentage of women are actually walking round wearing the wrong size bra, how you can not tell I do not know. Especially when you see a female walking down the road & she looks like she actually has four boobs. Besides the fact that it must be cutting of the circulation, how could an extra set of boobs go un-noticed when you look in the mirror or see your reflection in a window - this is one of life's mystery's. Joking aside this can cause long term damage so all women should get checked regularly, especially if:-
*The strap round the back is higher than the front
*It digs in (at the sides or underneath)
*The straps leave an indent in your shoulder
*Your boob hangs out the bottom
*Your boob hangs over the top
Look at those bad boys!!

So ladies when you get dressed in the morning don't just worry about how you look on the outside cause what you are wearing underneath is just as important. Dress your boobs to impress :o)

****All bra's featured in the blog post can be purchased from my mate Ann (Summers of course) so why not bob on over & have a butchers at her delightful collection of boob wear****

Saturday, 26 January 2013

The Rampant Rabbi....

All new sleek Rampant Rabbit
NOT Rabbi :o)
Well blow me down I cannot believe what I have just heard & watched - some dude featured on This Morning has 6 wives by which he has had 18 children, I kid you not. When I saw the headline I thought this guy is either stupid, greedy or both; so I thought I would watch the video & decide for my self.

The first thing I have to say I don't agree with is the fact that this guy (his name is Phillip so we will address him as so from now on) is a Rabbi, a religious man. Now I am not overly religious myself but even I know that it doesn't promote this sort of behaviour in the bible - I mean God made Adam & Eve, not Adam, Eve, Julie, Sandra, Marie & Brenda; if that were the case the Bible would be bordering on pornographic!!
Threesomes & Moresomes,
Phillip is on Sixsomes lol
Phillip claims that God actually spoke to him & told him that he had to live his life in this way (OMG is he for real I hear you ask) & that although sometimes it causes him great pain (that must be when he is choosing which one to sleep with each night!) that it is all worth it as he feels cleansed (that's just because your sack is constantly empty my love....).
I thought that 3 of the 6 wives that he took on the show with him looked miserable, which i'm glad that Amon mentioned. At which point they all started smiling saying they loved their life & that they were one big family. Even though recently a 7th wife left as she said that she got jealous & always felt lonely - Lonely??!! There were 8 of you in a relationship so its not like you had no-one there. I started to think that Phillip clearly had his cake & was definately eating it (especially if he has sex with more than one at a time) but then surely that means he has 6 wives that also nag him, so that would mean 6 times the head ache. Maybe that's what he meant when he said it causes him great pain, he has shares in Nurofen.

If ever I get married there is NO WAY I would share my man, in fact I don't even need a ring & a certificate for that i'm not sharing regardless. The true meaning of marriage has completely gone out the window in this situation, one of which I think is ludacris & un-healthy. But hey each to their own & if God really is Phillips best mate then good on him ;o)

****Everything featured in the pictures can be bought from my mate Ann (Summers of course). Pop on over & have a butchers at the all new sleek looking Rampant Rabbit - go on try it you just might like it (I did)****

Sunday, 6 January 2013

Here today affair tomorrow....

Glitzy body - was £30 now £10
I sat here flicking through the Sunday ritual that is reading the Sun newspaper; I come across a head line that catches my eye “Why you’re more likely to start an affair tomorrow”. As I read on I can’t help but think this is not news & who on earth comes up with this absolute load of crap? 
The article goes on to say that after extensive research (according to a dating website, says it all really….) it is proven that tomorrow, 7th January, is the day people are most likely to start an affair. How the hell do they come up with this tosh, there are 365 days in the year & when surveyed everyone said “Ooh I’m gonna be un-faithful on 7th January” get a grip. If someone is going to cheat do you think they care what day of the week it is, all they care about is what underwear they are wearing & are they gonna get lucky.

When speaking to my friend on the phone later in the evening she mentioned that she had also read the article & could see the logic. In her words – Christmas is a stressful time of year,  you have to spend 24 hours a day with your other half as there is no work. Therefore the spark could go out of a relationship, it is put to the test as your routine isn't there & you may get sick of your other half. Jeez what happened to Christmas being time to come together, be with loved ones & have quality time? I mean if all it takes is for someone to have a week off work with their family to have an affair then alarm bells should be ringing & you clearly shouldn't be with that person in the first place.

Apparently there are 5 tell-tale signs that you should look for;
Your sex life changes – well that could happen for a number of reasons: you have a baby, family stay over (no-one wants to be told to keep the noise down for banging the head board too hard, embarrassing), you are more tired due to all the organizing  hell you may even have got married as it appears saying “I do” ends your sex life!!
Changes in personal grooming – not the fact that not going to work means you have more time to make an effort….
Working late – Er hello leading up to the festive season most places are open late & everyone has deadlines to meet before the period of shut down….
Inexplicable anger – Everyone knows that most men can’t stand their mother-in-law & it’s inevitable that they will have to spend time together over the turkey; just cause he gets annoyed by this doesn't mean he is getting a blow job from someone else….
New name, new places – So because he mentions that he went to a hotel that means he went there to have sex, not because he just had his work Christmas party there….

This is bound to get his pulse racing
My advice is take no notice of these ridiculous articles written by someone who may have 5 years media studies qualifications but actually has no real life experience & is more than likely still single. You know your partner, you spend the most time with them, everyone is different & you will know the tell-tale signs if they are going out for a burger when they have steak at home. Besides don’t give him any excuse to look elsewhere in the first place, show him every day what he already has :o) 

****All garments featured in this post can be purchased from my mate Ann (Summers of course), so just click on the link on the side of the blog & get something to show him what he's got****

Saturday, 5 January 2013

Romance, is it alive....

I am the first to admit that I have watched far too many Disney films & episodes of Sex & the City in my time (I have the box set with EVERY episode & both films) but as I was watching 4 back to back repeats today I did wonder; Romance is it still alive, did it ever exist or is it just a tool for men to get into our knickers – like a weapon of mass seduction??

When your dating someone new & he greets you with flowers is it a lovely gesture or is he setting you up for a big fall with just one thing on his mind. Now if after one date & a bunch of flowers you give him what he wants & go further than a peck on the cheek, then you my friend need to up your standards as well as your self respect. One rule of dating is ladies never give out on a first date, if you do then clearly love you ain’t no lady!
So what about if he brings flowers & chocolates what does this mean – blow job & sex? Or is it a (very) rare romantic gesture? Has it really come to this that we have to try & read into gifts to work out if they are genuine or if there is actually an ulterior motive….I mean the mind will boggle if after a few dates he gives you perfume what does that mean? Obviously if things go well & the relationship progresses he might one day present you with a gift of underwear. Now this clearly only has one meaning – get to the bedroom cause they will look better on the floor & you are gonna be busy for some time :o)

Now having observed married friends this suspicious nature does not stop after “I do”. If your husband comes home & presents you with flowers this is usually translated as “I’m sorry I have done something I shouldn't . Chocolates are few & far between & if they do land in front of you then bet your bottom dollar he will eat most of your favorite ones! Perfume turns into air freshener or scented candles & the sexy undies appear to be replaced by onesies (passion killer or what).
As for Christmas’ & birthdays don’t get too excited as gifts come in the shape of electrical appliances; whisks, irons or toasters. Hell you may even get a set of sauce pans & if you’re really lucky they will be Gordon Ramsey ones woooooo!!
So after extensive research romance appears to be well & truly dead. Shame really as I am an old romantic & still hold some hope that romance is alive & kicking, might be a modern day version but it’s gotta be out there……… hasn't it?

****All underwear featured in this post can be purchased from my mate Ann (Summers of course), she still has 75% off so bob on over & grab a bargain. Just click on the links at the side of the blog & away you go****